Related Episodes: Marriage Marriage the Priority in Motherhood with Glori Winder, Being a Special Mom of Special Needs Kids with Julie Holmquist, Surviving as a Single Mom with Annie Quinnell, Restoring Joy in Motherhood with Winfree Brisley, The No Judgment Zone: Honest Motherhood with Becky Kopitzke, Anchored Motherhood with Tina Smith, The Fight for Relationships, Jesus: The Rest in our Busy, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled

Merritt Onsa’s journey to motherhood was unconventional. After bouts of infertility, she and her husband decided to pursue embryo adoption (check out an episode here on this as well). Like many mothers who have been through infertility, she entered this part of her life with expectations and hopes of how motherhood would look. Of course, it hasn’t quite gone that way. Like all women, and especially moms, she has learned that she needs to work on finding her true identity as well as identify her idols in motherhood. God has been so gracious in that and reminded her that she doesn’t have to measure her motherhood by anyone else’s. God has His own plan for hers and yours.

Merritt is passionate about helping women find their God-shaped dreams. Please note: she does not say God SIZED but God SHAPED. That includes finding our identity, God’s purpose in our lives, and help give us the tools to achieve them. Merritt believes in you and loves to remind you that God promises to finish the work that He began in us. Look below for her resources!

Zephaniah 3:17 – The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.

Resources:
Website: https://www.merrittonsa.com/
Podcast: The Devoted Dreamers Podcast
Facebook: @merritonsa
Instagram: @merrittjo

Related Episodes: Infertility is Never the End of the Story, From Trial to Triumph with Elizabeth Meyers, Life After Infertility with Sarah Sisson-Rollandini, In Due Time with Caroline Harries, Embryo Adoption with Maria Lancaster, Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

In the last episode of the Infertility Series, Ashlee Filby discusses her story of failed fertility treatments, miscarriages, and finally her miracle baby who has had his own share of challenges. After losing five babies, John and Ashlee were blessed with Knox, who was born with an omphalocele and heart defect. An omphalocele is a congenital anomaly where abdominal organs are born outside of his body, requiring months in the NICU and several surgeries. After 10 months in the hospital, they made the hard decision to bring him home with a trach to help him breathe. Shortly after he came home, they had yet another miscarriage. Finally, in May of this year, they lost their baby girl at 13 weeks. Despite all of this, all of the trials, all of the pain, Ashlee is still determined to declare God’s faithfulness. She looks at all of her struggles and can recount all of the places she saw God with her. She also credits them for helping her become the best mom for Knox. In God’ poetic timing, this episode is releasing the week that she was scheduled for a C-section with her baby girl. Instead of delivering a baby, she is delivering a legacy of hope for those dealing with loss and disappointment. Her closing verse is what she used on the shirts to raise money for Ronald McDonald House in honor of Knox. She chooses to focus on the second half: that despite Satan’s attempts to disrupt their lives, they have faith that God is giving them an abundant life despite the loss. That is the hope that I am so excited to leave you with at the end of 2020.

John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Related episodes: Infertility is Never the End of the Story, Life After Infertility with Sarah Sisson-Rollandini, In Due Time with Caroline Harries, Embryo Adoption with Maria Lancaster, Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

While traveling in her second trimester, Elizabeth lost her son Timothy. This was the last straw that led to a lot of anxiety and depression and she began to have a lot of questions: Why would a good God let this happen? Where is God in all of this? Is God even real? Despite her wrestling, Elizabeth decided to “believe anyway,” and encourage others to do the same along the way. Through this journey, she’s learned that it’s ok to be upset with God, He’s heard it all before. However, in every situation, God has proven above and beyond how faithful He is and how He blesses our faithfulness in return. Above all, there is always hope.

Elizabeth is a Christian author, blogger, and speaker who is passionate about sharing important truths in relatable ways and putting big ideas into common language. Several years ago when her son died, her faith and reality collided leaving her broken, discouraged, and doubting everything she thought she knew. Going through and growing from that painful experience have taught her many things. A burden weighs heavy on her heart to reach out to other struggling sojourners like herself and offer them encouragement, support, and, most of all, hope.

Romans 8:37 – No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Resources:
Her book Undefeated: From Trial to Triumph; How to Stop Fighting the Wrong Battles and Start Living Victoriously

Her Prayer Guide

Her podcast: Resilient Life Hacks

All her resources can be found on her website

Related Episodes: Infertility is Never the End of the Story, In Due Time with Caroline Harries, Embryo Adoption with Maria Lancaster, Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

Sarah had a 10-year journey with infertility that included waiting, miscarriages, tubal pregnancies, and failed IVF. These circumstances brought lots of questions like Where are you, God? Are you Good? and What do I do next? Her book Life After Infertility documents her hurting, her humor, and her hope as she learned to see life through God’s dreams and not her own. Infertility was painful and hard, but she wouldn’t change a thing as she looks back to recognize God’s faithfulness and foresight in bringing her three beautiful children: two through adoption and one through surrogacy.

“I learned that God doesn’t close doors to open windows so much as smash the whole place to smithereens to make way for new dreams, His dreams for us.  That is my story.  After years of chronic grief that followed me around like a black cloud, I said yes to a new idea of family. Would you believe me if I told you that you are not alone? That God cares even more about the child you are waiting for than you do?  My book, Life After Infertility: A Story of Hope for Those Who Wait, launched into the world on May 2, 2020.  My deepest desire is that you will count me as a friend in your struggle as you hold my story in your hands and read the truth in its pages”

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Resources:
Check out Sarah’s Website here.
Her book: Life After Infertility
 

Related Episodes: Infertility is Never the End of the Story, Embryo Adoption with Maria Lancaster, Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

“Wait” has been the response to many of Caroline’s prayers. Instead of being discouraged, however, she has used it to grow in her faith and talents. When God asked her to start a blog documenting her infertility journey, she obeyed despite feeling unprepared. Since starting, her blog inspired a devotional In Due Time and even grew into a whole brand new ministry. Moms in the Making has encouraged and influenced countless women as they wrestle and thrive in their anticipation of motherhood. Listen as Caroline shares her story, her struggles, and the truth about Jesus that gives her so much hope.

Resources:
Blog: In Due Time
Devotional: In Due Time
Podcast: A Cup Full of Hope
Moms in the Making Ministry

Related Episodes: Infertility is Never the End of the Story, Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

Maria Lancaster is no stranger to the journey and pain of infertility. After having several miscarriages yet knowing in her heart that God was going to give her a baby, she wasn’t sure what was left. Then, her husband heard Dr. James Dobson on the radio discussing embryo adoption. As a pioneer in this ministry, Maria became the mother of her beautiful daughter and a legacy began. She founded Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park, Inc where it is her joy to match and join new families in miraculous new ways. Through her services, she honors the donor family by recognizing the pain and sacrifice they make; a true and selfless gift to the adopting families. She credits the Holy Spirit in being with her during the match process, guiding and providing the perfect timing, with a 12-year track record of protection along the way. Embryo adoption is a beautiful representation of being born again and adopted into God’s family. Listen to experience how God truly cares about these families and the babies they are bringing into the world together.

Psalm 64:9- Everyone shall stand in awe and confess the greatness of the miracle of God. They will realize what amazing things He does.

Resources:
www.adoptembryos.org
www.donateembryos.org

Related Episodes: Waiting in the Shepherd’s Field, Trust and Faithfulness, Patient Endurance, Peace Be Still, Is God Still Faithful in the Valley, Facing the Red Sea, Identity: What You’re Not, Identity: Unveiled, Ebenezer: Marking God’s Victory in my Story

• According to the CDC, approximately 13% of women between 15-44 years of age suffer from issues affecting fertility, ranging from endometriosis, PCOS, to the unknown.
  • I was blown away after polling my Facebook friends, I had never realized how many brave people were facing it and willing to raise their hands. I know that there are many more out there that are afraid to talk about it.
• This episode is dedicated to those people struggling to understand why, feeling “less than,” or having an identity crisis through this journey. You are all important to God, the one who carries you through who made you, who knows you and loves you more than you could ever understand.
• How do I know? Because I’ve had my own journey in the lonely and painful land. For over three years (which I realize is not as long as some of you) I wrestled with all of these issues, including keeping a journal as I dealt with my anger and grief.
  • The words of my journal are not easy to share. They show a lot of the ugly that God needed to deal with (and still does).
  • However, God grabbed my heart and reminded me that He’s got this.
• Infertility is not a subject that is ignored in the Bible:
  • Sarah (wife of Abraham)
    • Genesis 12 God promised Abraham that he would be “the father of many nations” and “extremely fruitful.”
    • There was a waiting period. The promise was not fulfilled until we get to Genesis 21, 25 years later. God does not shy away from letting us know about the wait.
    • Sarah made mistakes during the waiting period, losing hope, and forgetting the promise.
      • But God still kept His promise.
      • God’s faithfulness does NOT depend on ours.
  • Rebekah (wife of Isaac)
    • Genesis 25:21 – Isaac pleaded with the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children. The LORD answered Isaac’s prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant with twins.
    • Isaac and Rebekah traveled through 19 years of infertility because they had their sons.
    • Isaac was more patient: he had seen God answer these prayers first hand. He was the answer to one of these prayers.
    • Our God is generous.
      • Isaac pleaded for a child. He got double that.
      • Psalm 23:5 – You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
      • John 3:16 – For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
      • God’s blessings and promises are extravagant.
  • Leah and Rachel (wives of Jacob)
    • This story is interesting because it includes the competitiveness of these women, something we all deal with today.
  • • Genesis 30:1 – When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob “give me children, or I’ll die!”
      • It seems dramatic, but we’ve all been there, right?
      • Rachel knew the pain of infertility, and the Bible doesn’t shy away from that.
    • When we give in to the lie that our value and worthiness depends on our fertility, it changes our outlook and our choices.
      • In this story, it began a war between sisters, seen in Genesis 30. Between the lines, you can see there was hostility, pride, fighting, and bragging mixed in and fueled by the pain.
      • Rachel gave her maid to Jacob to get sons.
      • Leah did the same when she stopped having children.
      • Despite the competition and tension ruling this house, God was still working.
    • The naming of children is incredibly important in the Old Testament. They were either chosen to commemorate something (like Isaac, based on the laughter of Sarah) or as a declaration of God’s faithfulness like Samuel (see further down).
      • After giving her servant to Jacob, Rachel names the child Napthali. Genesis 30:8- “I have struggled hard with my sister, and I am winning!”
      • God worked in Rachel’s heart and answered her prayers. She named her son. Genesis 30:22-24 “God has removed my disgrace,” she said. And she named him Joseph, for she said “May the LORD add yet another son to my family.”
        • The name Joseph means “he will add.” In the time between Napthali’s birth and the birth of Joseph, Rachel was able to see God’s love and promises, and know that she could declare that He had more in store for her.
    • Tamar (daughter in law of Judah)
      • This marks the 4th generation of infertility in this family. It is definitely not conventional.
      • Genesis 38 gives us this juxtaposition story.
        • Tamar was married to Judah’s oldest son. He died before they had children, so his brother was obligated to give them a son. He refused, prevented her from getting pregnant, and he died as well. Afraid that she was a curse, Judah sent her away.
        • Tamar was forced to take things into her own hand, pretended to be a prostitute, and had relations with Judah.
        • This resulted in her becoming pregnant with twins.
        • This story is told in the middle of the story of Joseph in Egypt. Both Tamar and Joseph did nothing wrong but were blamed and punished for it. Judah and Potiphar’s wife were both inadvertently used by God turning their selfishness into blessing the entire world.
        • God is simultaneously able to give justice AND grace.
          • Psalm 89:14- Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.
          • Hebrews 4:16 – So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
          • These are NOT contradicting verses. These are two facets of the character of God- He is both just AND merciful. He makes wrongs right while also being completely gracious.
          • Jesus is the ultimate fulfillment of both God’s just making right the wrong of all our sins) and God’s mercy (grace toward us, His beloved creation).
    • Hannah
      • In Samuel 1, Hannah goes to the closest place she can get to God: the temple. She prays so fervently that Eli the priest thinks that she is drunk! In this prayer, she begs God for a son. She doesn’t stop there though, she tells God that she will dedicate her child completely to Him.
      • She names her son Samuel, meaning “God heard.”
      • Samuel became the prophet anointing Saul and David to be the kings of Israel.
    • Manoah’s Wife
      • Judges 13 tells a story about a man named Manoah and his wife. The Angel of the Lord visits her, telling her that she will bear a son and that he is to be set apart.
      • This son was Samson (as in Samson and Delilah), who had the famous strength and hair.
      • Samson ended up killing thousands of Philistines and therefore giving the Israelites a huge victory.
    • The Shunamite Woman
      • 2 Kings 4 tells the story of the Elisha and the Shunamite woman.
      • This woman built on to her and her husband’s house just so Elisha would have a room when he visited their area.
      • When Elisha asked her what he could give her to repay, she didn’t ask for anything.
      • Elisha’s servant realized that she didn’t have a child, so he suggested this as a blessing.
        • She was so afraid of the hope of having a child that she couldn’t even bear the idea of that conversation.
      • She did end up having a son, who ended up dying while still young.
        • She ran straight to Elisha. 2 Kings 4:28 – “Did I ask you for a son, my lord?” she said. “Didn’t I tell you, ‘don’t raise my hopes?'”
        • This woman was often afraid to speak her hopes and desires in fear of the pain that would come. if God did not grant them.
        • Despite her fears to actually voice her hopes, she knew that she could go to the place that God proved to her that He knows her heart and cares about what she holds in it. She knew she could fully trust God to know what she wasn’t able to let go of and that He could do something with that pain.
    • Elizabeth
      • Luke 1 tells us the story of Elizabeth, the wife of Levitical priest Zechariah.
      • Luke 1:6- Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and decrees blamelessly.
      • In the culture of this time of history, physical ailments such and infertility were considered to be a consequence of sin. The above verse proves that this was not the case.
      • Later, when Jesus was healing a blind man, he explains in John 9:3- “neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
      • Gabriel the angel announced to Zechariah that Elizabeth would give birth to a son and name him John. However, due to their age, Zechariah did not believe and therefore lost his ability to speak.
        • Despite Zechariah’s unbelief, God was still faithful to His promise.
      • When Elizabeth heard the prophecy she said in Luke 1:25 – The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favor and taken my disgrace among the people.”
        • There has to be so much behind this quote. There was so much shame being childless, especially in their higher position as priest and wife. There were likely lots of comments both privately and to her face. We all know how that feels.
    • Mary
      • I realize her story is not exactly infertility, but it is still a story of God’s victory and power over our fertility, no matter how impossible the situation may seem.
• God knows that we live in a fallen world and meets us in that, all while doing whatever it takes to move us toward restoration.
  • In the book Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel discusses her pain of miscarriage. In it she says “I wanted to linger in the romance, believing perfection was within my reach. But seeing the lifeless ultrasound screen was a stark reminder that we still live. in the tensions between now and not yet. Jesus has come but he is still coming. Restoration has drawn near but it’s still approaching. Heaven is at hand but it’s still descending. Every tear will be wiped away but for now, we still have a reason to cry.”
  • I’m not sure where you find yourself in this story. But no matter where you are, INFERTILITY IS NEVER THE END OF THE STORY.
  • In the book Surprised by Motherhood, Lisa-Jo Baker tells a story about a man who randomly came up to her and said “God wants you to know that whether you have children or not, He loves you for you.”
  • Every time I look at these stories of infertility, I see God preparing to show Himself in a big way. And in all of it, He is showing you that He loves you for you.
  • God has proven Himself victorious 100% over these fractures of His original conception of our world.
  • Infertility was NOT the end of the story for Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Leah, Tamar, Hannah, Monah’s wife, the Shunamite woman, the mother of Samson, Elizabeth, Mary, and it will not be the end of the story for you.
  • I am NOT promising that you will have children. I am NOT promising that if you have children you will suddenly be fulfilled and life will be perfect.
  • What God does promise is Ephesians 3:20-21 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever. Amen!
• I know it is hard to wait, that there is pain, doubt, despair, and so many questions.
  • There is so much more. And God absolutely and abundantly holds that “more” for you victoriously in His hands.
  • God has proven that He is faithful over infertility time and time again. Infertility never has and never will be the end of the story.
• Romans 5:3-5 – Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.